Living with Toxic People

Good evening readers!

I just got home from a long, busy day at work. I came home to a place that was messy. The laundry was piled up, dogs needed to be fed, and a bunch of mail to open up. That’s a typical evening for me. I usually do everything on the list(for the exception of this week). I was in no mood to do anything, but I let the pups out, fed them, took them out again. I took off my work clothes( a sick student threw up on me today…I felt so bad for her), put them in the wash and folded laundry. Let me just say I loathe laundry and/or folding it. Ugh, such pain in the butt. Anyways, after I made my house look presentable I felt good. I felt like I could do anything, SO I decided to sit down and write.

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I have a few people in my life right now that are going through some hardships with their relationships. I have one friend who was in a toxic relationship. My friend didn’t know it at the time, but they were. We’ve had lots of discussions about it. Everyone has been in some type of toxic relationship. I know I have. I was thinking of my friend tonight and thought maybe my experience could help anyone going through it right now.

This post is a tough one for me because I don’t open up about this very often, but if this can help someone out it’s all worth it to me.

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Beginning of the Toxic Relationship

Nearly 94% of people between the ages of 17-24 are in toxic relationships. Toxic relationships can be physically, emotionally, mentally, or verbally abused. None of those should ever be tolerated. When you’re in a relationship with someone you will over look certain aspects of them because you love them. Like the saying goes,
“Love is blind.” It truly is. Love can make you do some crazy things for one person. In most relationships everything starts off all gushy and romantic. As you two get to know each other you find out certain qualities that you may or may not like. If you don’t like certain qualities you may over look them because you two are new(just an example). 94% of people don’t realize they’re in a toxic relationship right away. My friend and I were two of the 94%. Personally, I had thoughts during my relationship of leaving them(NOT my current one haha), but I never seemed to have the guts to do it. I can only go off of my friends personal experiences and most of them said they had doubts too, but never left. It’s tough.

 

Recognizing the Signs

This is probably the hardest part. There’s a very, very fine line with this. Everyone has different opinions about this. So these are just MY opinions. Here are some possible red flags.

Physical

The person doesn’t just have to punch you or slap you. Personally, if a person pushes you or grabs a body part and won’t let go is a definite red flag. The major red flag I had in my old relationship was one drunk night. The person was wasted. The person wasn’t treating me very nicely so I spoke up. Shocker, that person told me to shut up and go sit down. I guess that night I had enough of their BS. I decided to tell the person to stop talking to me like that and that person decided to pick me up and throw me against a brick wall outside. In that moment all I could do was cry. Of course, I ran after them saying I was sorry. That right there folks was completely uncalled for. There were a few other occasions where they put their hands on me. IF SOMEBODY EVER PUTS HANDS ON YOU…WALK OUT. Please don’t ever put up with physical abuse. No one ever deserves that.

Emotional/Mental

These two can definitely connect with the physical toxic relationships. After certain physical situations you can feel as though you did something wrong when you didn’t. After that situation I felt like I did something wrong. I felt like I couldn’t speak up anymore. I had to stay quite when I was frustrated or annoyed. To be honest, that’s exactly what I did. That effected me for years, I still battle with it at times.

From another point of view can be cheating. Cheating can really mess someone up. When someone cheats on you it can make you feel as though you’re not good enough, not worth anything. YOU feel like a POS because that person cheated on you. When you’re in a toxic relationship you can possibly feel as though they deserve someone better than you because you’re a person who got cheated on. If that makes sense at all. It always sounds better in your head. Anyways, I know plenty of people who felt emotionally distraught because of cheating. In some situations the cheater may blame the other person. That actually happened with me. I caught the same person cheating on me. I caught them in the act. Afterwards we got into an argument(typical)  and I asked them why did they do it. That person said because I wanted too much out of our relationship. Hmmm… yes of course I wanted something out our relationship. We were together, duh. Somehow that person got to me and I felt horrible. I didn’t feel mad, disappointed, or bitter, just mad at myself for expecting too much. How messed up right? That person knew how to do that to me. Emotional and mental toxic relationships can stay with you for a lifetime. ONLY if you let them though.

Verbal

The one that got to me the most in my past relationship. When they physically did something to me it would go away. When they emotionally did something to me it messed me up pretty well. When they would verbally abuse me to me was the worst. That person would always tell me to shut the f%@k up, you’re f@%^king crazy, you’re a POS, or you’re stupid. After a while I started believing them. I take what people say seriously. Someone’s word means a lot to me. That’s just how I work. At first, I would argue with them and stick up for myself. After a while I got tired of trying to defend myself when I wasn’t being heard. Which in turn made me think those things were true.

 

All of these go hand in hand. If you get any of these types of red flags leave the relationship. I understand it may be tough in certain situations, but if possible leave. Again, these are just my opinions. Everyone goes through different experiences. If you ever need someone to talk to please feel free to reach out to me.

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The Aftermath

This is unique for each individual. Some people find a hobby to keep their mind preoccupied. Others may mourn the loss of the relationship and move on. Some have lifelong effects from that toxic relationship. People have trust issues, commitment issues, or even more severe. How did I get through it? Lots of friends and family and self-love. To be 100% honest I still struggle with it sometimes. I have trust issues. I don’t trust very easily due to my past relationships. Does it mean I’m never going to love? Hell no. That person may have overpowered my life back then, but not today. I’m full of so much love that person couldn’t accept how much love I had. For those of you going through it right now, it sucks. There’s not doubt about that, but it will get better. One day you will find that person who make everything better.

 

Toxic relationships are very common, too common. For people who are victims to it talk to someone. For the people who know someone in a toxic relationship, talk to them. Make sure to be supportive and not leave their side. They probably need you more than ever. If they don’t believe you, it’s okay, it’s normal. Just keep being there for them. They will thank you later.

Thankfully, I found someone. I found someone who lets me be me. My weird, funny self. I found a man who treated me with respect and love. He has never tried to put me down. He always has open arms and ears. I never thought I would find a man who would treat me right. I’m so blessed I found him. He has made me into a stronger person. He has helped get over my trust issues. When you find someone who makes you feel amazing, keep them…you deserve it sweetheart ❤

If you need help visit these websites and phone numbers:

http://www.loveisrespect.org

http://www.domesticshelters.org

Hope Line 1(877)-235-4525

 

Love always,

 

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A Letter to the Dreamers

Greetings everyone,

I’m sitting on my couch listening to the Adele Spotify playlist, cuddling under my Christmas blanket, and theres a cool breeze coming from my window. That sounds pretty fantastic if you ask me. I haven’t posted in quite a while, a year and a half to be exact. There were lots of life changes within that year and a half. I’ve missed writing and thought today would be the perfect day to start again. This post is going to be my thoughts on current events(NOT politics HAHA). I’m hoping this post can shed some light on people and give others comfort during this time.

First, I’d like to send my prayers and condolences to the Hurricane Harvey and Irma victims. I’d also like to send my prayers to all the people who have lost their homes in the wildfires. JJ Watt has an awesome relief fund for the Harvey victims. All of the money goes straight to the victims. I will be donating to his relief fund.

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I was scrolling through Instagram today and saw this amazing post.  It was written by an amazing woman I went to high school with.

“For so many years people have been trying to blend in, jumping through hoops and going the extra mile to try to live a regular life here like you. For so many years many people have not known, have not cared, have not even wondered about our struggles. Illegal was their favorite term for us. And even better, aliens .To get a license and being able to get a job was no hard task for everybody. No big deal? Your being born here was enough. Your free pass. Easy. But for me..for many of us, for our families, it meant driving every day and praying nothing goes wrong and you don’t get pulled over. It meant finding a job in this country where the most important document you need, the most basic one they ask for, you don’t have. But still we’re no damn quitters…Education, although no big deal for you, was a huge deal for us. With crooked documents, no entry, no fafsa. Renting a home? Owning your own home? Buying a car? Crooked papers? No. Traveling? …no. Many move away from family because they want better, but no worries. You can visit them in the holidays. Us, I’ve seen my family from Mexico through a webcam for 20 years. It’s heartbreaking.
I will say though..a couple years ago no one knew much about us other than that we were illegal, and didn’t pay taxes (we do. Crooked papers were no exception trust me. Yet our tax returns were at a fraction of what everyone else gets) now that Trump has put us on blast, I’ve never felt so protected. Celebrities, neighbors, friends, families, black and white, I’m seeing support all over. So thank you.
All in all through all these hardships against us, I have not once seen anyone quit and go back, instead we ground our feet and try harder. Because we are here to stay.” @pewpewpachooo

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This moved me to tears. This post was so moving. After I saw her powerful post I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I had so many thoughts running through my head. So now I’m here putting my thoughts into a post just like this amazing, powerful woman. Thank you Ana for posting such a beautiful message ❤

Now comes my letter.

 

“Dreamer,

Keep dreaming. Keep moving forward. Keep proving people wrong. Don’t listen to everything you hear(take it with a grain of salt). People are going to try to bring you down mentally, physically, emotionally. You CAN do this and you WILL do this. You will fight for your dreams. I feel for you. I promise I will be there…I will be your supporter, cheerleader, laughter, smile, or shoulder to cry on. I don’t care if we’re strangers or friends I WILL be there. I will fight this fight with you. You have every right to fight for your dreams, your freedom. I don’t know what hardships you’ve gone through to get to your dreams, BUT I will make damn sure you have a voice. You deserve to have a voice. Even though your “dreams” are different doesn’t mean we can’t help each other. It doesn’t matter the color of your skin, it matters what kind of person you are. It matters what kind of dreams you have. It matters how you treat your family and friends. I believe in good karma. What you give out to the world will be reciprocated to you. Don’t give up, don’t let go.  WE can do this. ”

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All dreamers deserve to dream. What’s one of my dreams? My dream is to one day travel the world and talk to people who have lived in the US and their experiences. I would love to gather that information and write a book, or go around the country and shed some light on people. One day I will accomplish that dream.

Stay postive and spread love.

 

Until next time,

Open Letter To My Future Husband

 

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Happy Hump Day!

I was just on Pinterest(I have a problem), and I follow a few boards that have engagement rings and weddings dresses. All of the really exciting but terrifying thoughts started to go through my head. What happens if I never find a man that will deal with me for the rest of his life? We will get divorced? Will he leave me for another woman? I think of all the insane possibilities that could happen! Then I started thinking of the special someone in my life now and how he puts up with me EVERYDAY. He deals with me when I’m slap happy because I’m too tired to me crying over nothing and wanting to give up on everything. He’s been there through it all. When I first started bringing down my walls I thought for sure he would leave me because I was a huge ball of emotions….so far so good(knock on wood). I understand I’m young and naive still and have no clue about life, BUT I’m sure about us and that’s all that matters! Here’s a letter to my future hubby:

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Dear Future Hubby,

    How do I start this off? Well, I hope for one that we’re happily married, that would be great! But I really hope we have everything we want at the moment…whatever that may be. I hope we had a good wedding where everyone that we loved were there. I also hope our honeymoon was just as amazing our wedding! 

I obviously married you for a reason and I’m planning on only having one husband so you’re the lucky guy(; We’re best friends; the best friends where we are so comfortable we can do ANYTHING in front of each other. There have been days where I’ve wanted to strangle you and I bet the feelings mutual, but we’ve been through hell and back, so we can do anything. Waking up to every day is the best feeling ever. Rolling over at 3AM to feel you next to me and me snuggling up against you is my favorite! Theres only two positions we’re in when we’re sleeping: Full on cuddling or butts touching, nothing else.

    The way you make me laugh without even trying is incredible. You know how to make me feel better whenever I’m down about something and I’m so blessed for that. You are my person forever…OHMYGOSH I can say that, finally! I’ve been waiting forever and a day to take your last name and I can now call myself that. Thinking about the first time we met still gives me butterflies. SO unexpected, not love at first sight, but we fell hard and fast! There’s moments I still look at you while your driving and just think, “How did I get so lucky?” And the answer I come to every time? “I have no idea, but you best believe I’m not leaving you!” I trust you with my life. 

  Oh and your parents? Perfect. That’s the only word I can describe them as. They’re so loving, caring, supportive, and will be great grandparents to our future children. Your siblings? I can’t describe them in one word(; They’re also incredible. They took me in as another one of their siblings and I will never be able to thank them enough!

    You are my world and I’m so blessed to call you not only my husband but my best friend. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, thank you….

    Cheers to the years that we’ve spent together and to many more ❤

 

Te amo mi amor,

Your wifey(finally)

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I think I know who it will be and I would love to add more detail, but I don’t want to jinx anything(; I hope everything comes true for not only my relationship but for all of the other couples out there!

 

Love always,

 

 

 

An Open Letter to My Old Best friend

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Good Morning Everyone!

It’s almost Friday…It’s almost Friday….It’s almost Friday. We can make it! Does anyone else ever have those weeks where it goes by fast, yet it doesn’t? That’s how this week has felt to me. The past few months I’ve been seeing all of these open letters to ‘this person’ and ‘that person.’ Well, I decided to jump on that train and write an open to my old best friend(s). It’s crazy how you think this person will stay in your life forever then you two change and drift apart…poof… All those laughs, cries, and smiles are forgotten. This letter is to you.

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Dear Old Best friend,

    I don’t want to call you an ex because I don’t look at you or our friendship that way. It felt like that at first, but now it doesn’t. Once in awhile when Facebook loves to bring up the past some of our pictures scroll through my memories. Once I see a picture or something funny we said I will go back and just look at all of the ridicoulous things we did. It’s crazy how we used to talk about being in each others wedding, moving in together, and partying together when we turn 21…how times have changed. You were there for all of the ups and downs of my life and I can’t thank you enough for being there. 

    When we first stopped talking I was so bitter and angry towards you. It felt like I lost the other crazy side of me. It felt like a breakup. We’d see each other places and would avoid each other like the plague; felt just like avoiding my ex boyfriend! It was inevitable to avoid you and I slowly had to accept that. We came in contact again and exchanged kind words to one another which made me feel better about where we stood. When we came in contact last a lot of things changed in our lives….New friends, boyfriends, new lifestyles in general. The fact that we always seem to stay kind to each other and acknowledge one another shows who we are as people. I must say we are nice people for that(; 

    I remember the late nights talks, the sleepovers, sneaking alcohol into each others houses, the 3AM snack breaks(those always tasted the best). We were attached at the hip and we didn’t give one f@%k what other people thought! I will always remember everything we did together and still laugh at all of the dumb things we did.

    Seeing you now and how well you’re doing is amazing to see. Even though we’re not friends anymore doesn’t mean I hate you…It’s actually the complete opposite. I have the same love for you I did back then and that will never change. People grow apart for reasons that are unexplainable and that’s ok. I hope you get married one day, do the career you’ve always dreamed of(you’ll do great, I know it), have beautiful children, and always stay true to yourself. You’ve always been a big dreamer and I hope you stay that way. Thank you for everything! Never change girl!

Love always,

Your Old Best friend

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People change, life changes, its life. Cherish the people you love and always forgive. You never know when that person may be gone.

 

Until next time,

Focusing on Yourself: Tips and Advice

 

Wednesday definitely felt like hump day! I was having one of those days. I needed some advice on some situations that were going on in my life, so I reached out to a close friend of mine. The main issue I was having was how I approached conflicts with relationships. I contacted my friend and vented to her about the situations. I wasn’t even thinking there was an issue. I just needed someone to vent to. At the end of our conversation she sent me this huge paragraph about how I needed to focus on myself and stop worrying about everyone. Now this friend that I was talking to has known me since elementary school(she knows me too well). She also told me to focus on my life and not on someone elses. She gave me one of her pep talks that are unforgettable! The point of this story is that she told me HOW to focus on myself. She gave me some good and funny tips, and I thought I’d share some of them with you!

BOOKS:

I love reading! I used to hate it when I was younger, but once I found a few genres I enjoyed, I was hooked. Books are my get away from the rest of the world. Sticking my face into a book for the night sounds right up my alley! Lately, I’ve been into romance and self-improvement books (and no I’m not into the romance books where Felipe’s on the front)! Best advice for someone who is trying to focus on themselves and their goals are self-improvement books. I always thought it was a bunch of BS reading a book to help me find myself…Never say never. I ended up loving them. Number one book I recommend is ” You Are a Badass,” by Jennifer Sincero. AMAZING. It gives you inspiration to reach for the stars and always believe in your dreams. She’s sarcastic, funny, swears, and seems like an awesome person! It cuts out all of the BS that most self-improvement books have. If you are trying to find yourself and need some guidance, read it, you won’t regret it! 
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Exercising:

    Whether you’re trying to gain weight or lose weight exercising is an awesome way to focus on yourself. For people who may want to gain weight seeing you gain muscle and seeing how your body changes is amazing! Same goes for losing weight. Seeing the clothes get looser, your skin starting to glow, and your overall attitude change is the best! When I first started working out I thought I had to go to the gym and that was the only way I was going to lose weight. Nope. You don’t need a gym membership to get fit. Go on Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter and you will find accounts specifically for at home workouts. If you’re tight on money or just don’t want to put the money towards the gym you can still get in shape.

     Exercising for me is my “me” time. I get to go the gym, workout, and just let the stress of life sweat out of my pores. I feel so relaxed afterwards. If you’re not good at holding yourself accountable while working out(that’s me) grab a partner and workout together. I do that with my sister-in-law and it holds us accountable for the reps that we do. Plus, when you have someone with you it goes by so much faster, so you’re not looking at the clock every five minutes. Focusing on yourself is a part of finding yourself. If you’re so consumed of everyone else’s issues you won’t find any time for yourself, which then leads to you sometimes losing yourself. Exercise….It will make you feel so good about yourself!

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Goals:

    Not #relationshipgoals or #lifegoals or #goals (; I’m talking about your life goals. Whether it’s to run a marathon, have children, become CEO of a company, or finish college, whatever it may be focus on those. I bet I’m sounding like everyone’s parents because my parents tell me to this day to focus on them. It’s hard to say it, but my parents are right…I’m not happy to say because then they get all excited that I even said it(love you mom and dad)! Seriously, parents are right. I’ve had moments where I didn’t want to reach any of my goals because I was so consumed of other peoples issues, etc. A lot of things were going on so I felt lost and helpless with everything. I’m guessing we’ve all been there before, it’s just whether or not we can get out of it. I’m still working on that today. With some help from friends and family I’m starting to focus on them and achieving some of them!

    Your goals can be small or big, it doesn’t matter! Some of my goals are small, while others are really big. The friend that I mentioned previously told me her three main goals right now. She told me to think of three that I wanted to accomplish and start there. Sometimes taking your goals in small groups help. My three goals are to finish college, host a walk-a-thon for an animal shelter so dogs can get adopted, and renovate my house this summer. They’re a lot, but I’m pushing myself. All of those goals I’m passionate about…that’s what you need to find, something you love. Start small and work your way up!

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Interests:

    Last, but not least, your interests. Whatever you’re interested in will help you find yourself. One of my interests are this….writing. I’m just starting out with my blogs, but this gives me satisfaction. Having something I love to do and being able to share it with others makes me happy. I’ve learned how to write better, what I’m good at and not so hot with. I consider blogging “me” time. I get to sit down, let my mind go, and just type. If you have an interest in something, do it. You’ll learn so much about yourself and it’ll make you happy and fulfilled.

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    Each of these go hand in hand. That’s why you should try out each one and see if it works for you. If not, there are plenty of ways to help you focus on yourself and find yourself within the process. Do whatever makes you happy and make more time for it, it’ll change you for the better.

 

Love always,

 

 

 

 

A Little Life Update…

HELLO EVERYONE!

I’m watching some “Dexter”and sipping on some hot chocolate with my three-legged dog! I have been away from my blog for a few months now. It was not my plan to be absent from here, but some personal business needed to be attended to. It has really sucked not having time to sit down and type out all of my thoughts and ideas, BUT now I have more time to do that! I thought for today I would just give some updates on what’s been going on these last few months! So, if you’re not interested in this blog come back tomorrow for something different(:

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Since October, my boyfriend and I have moved out into our own place! I never thought at the age of 20 I would be moved out of my parents house. Since I’ve moved out I have become much more appreciative of my parents and family. It was hard and sad to leave them, but I think it has made us all closer! If it feels right, take that leap of faith…It’s worth it, I promise! You get to come home to your best friend everyday and go to sleep with them every night. Its amazing(most of the time)! (;

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The other big update is what’s going to be on my blog from now on. I’m going to continue doing my love updates, advice, etc. But I’m also going to start blogging about DIY projects around the house. I plan on doing a lot to our house this Spring/Summer and I would love to share some of my projects with all of you, so I will squeeze in a few DIY blogs too. I just want to be able to help whoever with whatever they may need. My blog is officially about LOVE and DIY…MY two favorite things! I’m excited to branch out of my comfort zone and I hope all of you will join me!

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See you all tomorrow!

Love always,

 

How To Keep A Long Distance Relationship Alive

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Hello friends!

The thought of long distance relationships sounded horrible and a lot of work. I told myself I would never do one because I couldn’t…well now I’m in one. A year into it and we still act like we just met. The secret…. COMMUNICATION. I know that sounds so cliché and you’ve heard it a million times, but it’s really true. It’s true for any relationship really. In my past relationships I never did because I thought you didn’t need to and somehow the person would know how I feel. Uh well that didn’t work out too well(thank goodness). My mom always told me when I was growing up to communicate with people and ask questions. My mom was and still is the queen of questions(Shoot I’m starting to turn into her with asking so many questions). Anyways, the best advice I could give anyone in a long distance relationship is to communicate.

Here are a few more tips on how to keep your long distance relationship alive:

1. Technology(Phone, Skype, Texting, FaceTime)

We all use technology on a daily basis, especially the younger generations. Whether it’s a phone call everyday to just talk about your guys’ day, or Skype/FaceTime to see each other. Whatever way you and your significant other want to use technology is great. My boyfriend and I have done all of them before just to switch things up. It’s good to switch up how you and your significant other talk to each other. Never do it the same way because that will get old fast.

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2. Traditions/Rituals

I can not stress this enough… Whether it’s a long distance relationship or not have traditions and rituals. Even the small things work like a ‘good morning/good night text’ or calling first. Guy tip: Make sure to do those small things because your woman will be much happier (; A couple of traditions my boyfriend and I have are calling each other every night to talk about our day, watching our favorite shows together over the phone, and making sure to always say ‘I love you’ no matter what.

Some traditions you could when you do get to see your significant other are going out to your favorite restaurant and movie. Or you could stay in and binge on Netflix and junk food(that’s my favorite…you get to eat however much you want without him judging because he’s doing the exact same thing). For the holidays you could see your family’s side first and then on to your significant others or vice versa. Just make sure when you see them you spend as much time together as you can because that time goes fast!

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3. Commitment

Yes, yes, yes! Having commitment on both ends are huge! My definition of commitment is when you are in the relationship 110% and all about them. Now that doesn’t mean forget your feelings and dreams, but be loyal and invested in them. Some people aren’t ready for commitment, which is totally fine, but make sure you find that out ASAP before you get in too deep. You and your significant other should grow together while being your own individual. Don’t ever lose your dreams and passions for someone (Oh my gosh I’m sounding more like my mother each sentence I’m writing)! It’s alright to tweak certain plans, but don’t ever give up on your path. I’ve experienced that personally and it’s not a good choice. Be loyal and give your all. If your partner really loves you and understands you they will be able to accept your dreams and passions.

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4. Trust

THE biggest one out of all of them! You need to able to trust your significant other, especially long distance. If you don’t trust them you’re not going to have a successful relationship. I understand everyone has trust issues and they’re hard to overcome, but if you want to be successful you have to trust. I’ve been cheated on before and I had major trust issues afterwards, but I worked on myself and surrounded myself with the people who I love. A lot of people have been cheated on and it’s rough, but don’t let past relationships affect your new ones. Like my mom always told me, “You’ll find out eventually, if and when you find out kick his ass to the curb.” Wise words from my mother. She’s very smart when it comes to relationships. She’s been right about every guy so far! To all the ladies out there don’t go out looking for something if it’s not there AND don’t go looking through his phone (I’m guilty of it too) ! You’ll find out if something is going on eventually.

Long distance can be hard at times, but if you and your significant other find your own little ways of keeping the relationship alive, you’ll be successful!

If you and your partner have any other tips on keeping the relationship alive tell me below in the comments!

Pictures are copyrighted to tumblr.com

Love always,

4 Ways Dating Someone From A Different Culture Changes Your Life

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As I write this I’m watching Good Morning America and they’re discussing Trump and his campaign. Every day there is something about Trump and how he is bashing the different cultures in America. It infuriates me that people are actually behind him, but that is just my personal opinion. I don’t want to get too political here…I just had to say my piece about him.

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I believe having different cultures around us everyday is an amazing experience! We get to experience different foods, languages, the way people dress, and lots more. Today I want to write about the ways of how dating someone of a different culture changes your life in so many amazing ways! A lot of people I have talked to would prefer to stick to their own kind or their parents would prefer it. I understand the reasons  why people and parents want to stick to their own culture, its comfortable and familiar. Everybody wants that comfort. I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND THAT. Personally, I love getting out of my comfort zone and learning new things in life. I am not saying people who stick to their own culture is bad, so please don’t take it that way. Everyone has their own preference and that’s perfectly fine. This is a controversial issue, but I’m going to discuss it anyways.

Here are some ways why dating/marrying someone from a different culture is awesome (try it some time it’s pretty interesting)!

1. Authentic Food

Oh my gosh! The food…. to die for! I’m a white girl who loves my Mexican food! I’m dating a man who is Hispanic and his mom makes THE best Sopes, Quesadillas, Tacos, all of the dishes are so good! I do love me some white girl food like Starbucks and Cheeseburgers, but I also love my Mexican food. My boyfriend’s mom taught me how to make Sopes this past weekend and it’s interesting to see how she made it and how much love she put into it. She didn’t measure anything, she just knew. You know someones Mom is an amazing cook when they just know(: When you’re dating someone from a different culture you get the chance to experience different foods in a home. Restaurants make terrific foods too, but when it comes from a home and mother and/or father is ten times better! It’s always better too when you have the whole family making the food together. I’m always up for some family time!

2. Language

Not going to lie I avoided taking Spanish in High School at all costs! I did Choir instead of Spanish. I thought I could get away with it…unfortuntely I didn’t. I had to take Spanish in college for a year and I was terrified. I actually ended up learning a lot of Spanish thanks to my teacher. The Spanish language is a beautiful language! Thanks to my boyfriend’s mom she has taught me a lot too. It’s good to learn new languages because it challenges you and may help you in the future when you travel to a different country.  Now don’t get me wrong I still need to learn a lot more Spanish and I still need people to translate it, but I’m better off than I was. Learn a language or two you won’t regret it.

3. New Lessons

If I’ve learned anything from dating someone from a different culture it’s that people may not agree with your choices. I have personally experienced the way some people will treat you when you date/ marry someone of a different culture. It’s inevitable. If you’re dating someone that’s a different culture all you can do is respect what they say and just keeping going. You can’t make everyone happy…and don’t try too! Every one has their beliefs and that’s okay. When you’re dating someone of a different culture it’s tougher because of the stereotypes and racism. I’ve learned to shut out people’s comments and opinions and just focus on making myself happy. The people who truly love and accept for who you are will also accept your significant other. Sometimes the lessons are hard to swallow, but just think about you and significant other and you’ll be just fine!

4. Culture In General

The culture in general is amazing in its self. You get to see the way people interact with their families and the traditions that they do. One observation that I have made with the Hispanic culture is that they are usually very family orientated. More than any culture I’ve seen. They will give the last meal, piece clothing to whoever is in need in their family and I envy that. My boyfriends family will go to their Mom’s house on the weekend and make dinner together and eat together. I know a lot of families do that I’ve just seen that a lot with his family. A tradition his family has is eating Thanksgiving dinner, drinking and play poker until late at night. It’s those traditions and family values that I truly love about cultures. Every culture and family have their own traditions and that’s what makes everyone different.

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When you’re with someone from a different culture you get the best of both worlds! You get your culture and another culture. You get to weave together to become your own culture. That’s the beauty of having different cultures around us.

Embrace it, DON’T get rid of it.

I know I never will.

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Love always,

Planning Your Wedding? Looking For A Photographer? I Have Just The Girl

Happy hump day everyone,

    A little story and then on to the good stuff! I was watching football with my brother-in-law and sister-in-law on Monday, and when I came in my sister-in-law, Alyssa, was upstairs editing pictures for a bride and groom. Every time I go over to their house she’s working hard to get just the perfect image for all of her clients. Alyssa is a photographer. She’s amazing at what she does! She started up her own business all by herself and is now a well known photographer in Northern Illinois. She puts so much time and effort into each picture it’s crazy. Her and I would love to go out every weekend and spend time with our boys, but she has a wedding or a photoshoot. Her dedication is impeccable. She is the best photographer I know, especially with weddings and engagements.

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If you’re looking for someone to take amazing pictures for your wedding and you’re in the Northwest suburbs of Illinois OR in the Rockford area she is the one you should go to. I’m not just saying this because she’s my sister-in-law, BUT because I have seen her work countless times and she truly captures LOVE in every picture. She captures each beautiful moment in people’s wedding. She is truly talented. So if you need someone go over to her website at http://www.leigh-photo.com ! She also has a Facebook page and blog to see all of her wonderful pictures!

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All photos are copyrighted to Leigh Photography.

She knows exactly how to capture someone’s wedding and maybe it can be your wedding next!

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Here’s all of her information:

Website: www.leigh-photo.com

Facebook: Leigh Photography

Blog: www.leigh-photo.com/blog

I really wish I could have her as my photographer for my wedding, but I’m pretty sure she’s going to be in my wedding (:

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Have a happy Wednesday!

Love always,

“You Never Know Unless You Try”

Alright story time,

I’m sorry but if you don’t like lovey-dovey stories please do not read! It’s going to get pretty cheesy in here! I thought a good first blog post would be the story of how I met the best man I know, my boyfriend, my inspiration to start this blog, Valentin(Val).

“You never know unless you try…” that’s what was going through my head the night I met Val. I had just gotten off my job at Barnes and Noble. I was tired, moody and definitely not wanting to go out on date (By the way I have told him this exact story…don’t worry he still loves me). I was so close to texting him and canceling on him, but I didn’t. I pushed myself to do the bare minimum of putting on some makeup and a decent outfit. Now at this time him and I had only been talking for a few weeks via text and phone. He lived an hour away from me, so that was our only way to communicate.

Anyways, I drove my awesome, beat up 2001 Chevy Cavy to my local mall. I was a little nervous, but more excited to see what he looked like in person and how we would interact. I pulled up to his gorgeous blue Nissan 350 Z (it took me a lot of practice to actually know what his car was called). He was leaning up against his car talking to his brother about some car parts. He hung up with his brother and we did the typical introducing of ourselves. We took his car to my local TGIF and I was being a typical girl ‘oooing’ and ‘ahhhing’ over his sexy car. We ate dinner and talked for a good three hours, getting to know each other and discussing our not so great moments. TGIF was closing and I didn’t want him to leave so we walked around a park. It was a beautiful September night, too beautiful to waste it. We talked more and really started enjoying myself…his 500 different laughs and whenever he would smile his dimples would show.

By the time we were done walking around and talking it was 3 o’ clock in the morning and he had work in the morning. He was so lost I had to show him how to get on our major highway to get home. As he’s following me I can see him in my rearview mirror trying to ‘rap’ some song as I see red and blue lights flashing behind him. He got pulled over by a cop because his car was too loud. I ended up having to circle around my town to get home, dedication people, dedication! After that we went on several dates and now we’re happily in love and a year into it! We’re currently looking for our first home together with our three-legged Pittie named, Butkus, and can’t wait to see what else life has in store for us! (:

Moral of the story is that I took a leap of faith that night.

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If I had canceled on him that night I wouldn’t be as happy as I am today (OR as car savvy as I am now, thanks to him)!

DO NOT give up on love! It will come at the most unexpected time. Someone will come and piece your heart back together when you’re not even paying attention! Keep going and have faith!

I hope this story wasn’t too cheesy for you guys.

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Until my next post folks love always,